Lessons of Life #1 - Never pull out in front of a Hummer in the fast lane on the highway.
Lesson #2 - Do not eat cheese or beans the night before making a big presentation.
Lesson #3 - Fried chicken can only be cooked one way - fried.
Lesson #4 - Never lie to your parents because they will always find the truth from secret sources.
Lesson #5 - A penny saved is not a penny earned when you have to report it to the IRS.
Lesson #6 - Always leave home with a smile on your face because you will be videotaped wherever you go.
Lesson #7 - It will take you longer to pay off a $5000 credit card bill than a $100,000 home.
Lesson #8 - Soap and water can actually clean your body.
Lesson #9 - Pizza and Hamburger Helper always taste better the next day.
Lesson #10 - Always remember to take out the trash before going on vacation.
Lesson #11 - A dog is man's best friend; a credit card with a high, credit limit is woman's best friend.
Lesson #12 - Never try to outrun a cop in a Ford Pinto.
Lesson #13 - Never use chicken grease to fry fish.
Lesson #14 - You are what you eat, enough said!
Lesson #15 - Never talk about a man until you walk a mile in his shoes, that way you can say what you want about him, because you are a mile away and you have his shoes! - submitted by H. Crane